Yes, I've been letting you all inside the mind of this Keanu fan for a whole year now. It's been fun. And I'm up for another year and hope you are too. I was going to get all introspective but fuck that, I know what you want...you want:
So I spent my Sunday morning scrutinizing Keanu photos all for you.
Here are my findings...
First off, intensive study of Keanu Dressage Theory is not without its trials and tribulations. There are many obstacles to dressage research.
One I'm sure you are familiar with is the dreaded Quarterback Towel
I don't know about you, but I hate that freaking towel. You'd think at least once in the film it would come off or something. Yet it obscures visibilty so consistantly, I suspect that it's actually CGI. Part of some "package" clause in the ratings guideline.
Bastards.
Then there is the constant foe of dressage research....that damn bass of his.
Many viable opportunities for research, some in person, have been foiled by the bass. Of course when he plays he's so damned sexy with his whole being, that I think he may be doing us all a favor by wearing it slung low.
Perhaps he knows that a clear view of the package combined with all that raw, thumping sexual energy is just a recipe for mayhem.
I know I'm a little tingly just thinking about it.....ehem.
So, I looked deeper into my files, all in the name of research.
I really thought I'd hit paydirt with this one.
However, I believe this is just a very flattering optical illusion. Um, anyway...
Still looking.
I love this picture, unfortunately, it's a bit dark but if you really look there's "to the left" evidence. I think.
I don't know, his hands in the pockets always messes me up. Of course, If I were his hands I'd be in his pockets all the time, too.
Moving on...Let's hear it for Hamel and well-worn khakis.
~To the right, to the right to the right-right-right
But there is no better friend to dressage research than good old tight faded jeans. I think the bike is a valuable display tool, also.
And this would be to the right also.
Now I know that probably some of you think that Keanu Reeves is "ambidresstrious"(tm Lori): Dressing to the left OR right as whim, fashion and comfort dictates (no pun intended).
This researcher still feels that while Mr. Reeves versatility knows no bounds, he does have his comfort zones. Things he may stray from for a bit, but he always comes back to.
The boots, the suitcoat/t-shirt combo and...
To. The. Right.
This concludes this installment of the Dressage Report.
To review previous Dressage entries, please click below.
Of course, we are always accepting new research material.
Krix, I think even if the dreaded towel wasn't there, the "package" would still be obscured by the dreaded Cup. Cause you know, he's gotta protect the "Package".....
Posted by: Rhonda on September 29, 2002 02:21 PMTrue, but with the view of the "cup" you can be lulled into the delusion that you are actually seeing something, even if you really aren't. The towel just mocks.
Posted by: krix on September 29, 2002 02:22 PMI've never before been so interested in left or right. You make me want to tear the pants right off.
Posted by: jadedju on September 29, 2002 08:15 PMMwahahaha! But without pants there is no left or right. Only...um.....yeah, baby.
Okay, so is that his right, or our right?
Are you meaning the way the "ahem" falls or the side that he's got more room in his pants? Sorry for my stupidity but I had to ask.
That would be his right and the way the goods fall.
Posted by: krix on September 29, 2002 09:31 PMKrix,
Very good research, I am especially impressed by your unselfish dedication.
And, thanks again for Keanuvision. I'm looking forward to more, and I'm glad you are up for it.
P.S. Update on my Keanuvision License plate holder. They found my car, and my precious plate holder was still on the front seat. I am very pleased. They totaled my car, so I had to get another car this weekend. I wasted no time installing the Keanuvision holder, and it looks very cool. I am enjoying seeing it when I go to the car.
Thanks again Krix for your humor and sensitivity throughout the last year. I look forward to what comes next.
Posted by: Wendi on September 30, 2002 06:42 AMhappy anniversay and ummmmm happy hunting in that research, you do know us well ; )
Well I'm sorry to hear that your car was totalled, Wendi :(, but glad that the holder was found and that you get a chance to enjoy it!
I hope you have a long SAFE relationship with the new car, too. Always buckle up.
dammit, krix, I've been offline (actually, my parents have a connection, but for some reason I can never get your site at their house) and now I'm at work, but believe you me, tonight when I get home I'm gonna be quizzin' and studyin' up on keanudressage to beat the proverbial band. More later, promise!!
Posted by: Lori on September 30, 2002 11:32 AMKeanuvision has proved yet again that there's always the great, great, great need to know about directions. Left, right and up.
Thank you, Krix! You are amazing!!!!!!!!! Happy anniversary!
Posted by: Bea on September 30, 2002 01:57 PMya had to go there did nt you? man, now i dont think i'm gonna be able to sleep. to the right...lol
Posted by: kat on September 30, 2002 04:33 PMHee! "If I were his hands, I'd always be in his pockets." Damn, krix, but you speak the truth! I'm stickin' to my ambidresstrous theory until I have personal, skin-to-skin unrefutable proof otherwise (don't dream it, be it...)
Posted by: Lori on September 30, 2002 07:09 PMskin to skin...LOL
Posted by: Keanuette on October 1, 2002 11:20 AMI can see Keanu now reading this blog and blushing oh so profusely over our chosen topic. How cute, Keanu blushing...hmmmm what a sweet thought.
Posted by: Toriane on January 26, 2004 05:33 AMRemember, this is a fan site.
Keanu Reeves is in no way connnected to this website.
Please do not make a comment thinking he will read it.
Comments are for discussion with other fans.
Thank you.