What would be a perfect date?

One where we mutually had an exceptional time that had the wonderful thing that can happen on a first date where you are intoxicated with each other's company and everything becomes good in the world and there's hope and you're just excited to see them. And you have great ease with them. Just a good experience.

Are you single?

I am currently single.

And looking?

Begging, pleading.

Do you ever want to get married?

I think so.

Would a girl need to commit to riding around on a motorcycle to date you?

No. It would be fine if she didn't.

Do you like women to approach you, or do you prefer to approach women?

Yes. All of it. Any which way.

What are you still trying to figure out about women?

The figuring out is the fun part. It's always wonderful to get to know women with the mystery and the joy and the depth.

Is there anything you know to be true about women?

That if you can make a woman laugh, you're seeing the most beautiful thing on God's earth.

What's a turn-on?

I'm pretty easily amused.

Anything in particular? Eyes, legs, hair, cleavage...?

Oh, those all sound so good.

Do you have a least-favorite body part and a favorite body part?

I'm not telling you that. Are you crazy?

Where is the most outrageous place you've ever had sex?

I don't know...what is outrageous anymore? What I thought of as outrageous when I was 17, and now being 39, you know, that doesn't count.

Right, because at 17, having sex in your parents' bed is outrageous.

Yeah, and now you just shouldn't be doing that - it's creepy. You probably shouldn't have been doing it before, but you were 17. So let me think. I've made out in a cab, but I've never gone all the way in a cab. Or have I? No, you'd remember that right? Or maybe you wouldn't and that would be the only way that you did it. You know what? Okay, yeah, I did, but I don't remember. You can't be sober and have sex in the back of a cab.

Exactly. What's the craziest thing you've ever done to get a woman's attention?

I haven't done the letter-writing airplane in the sky or the ''Come over for dinner and now we're going to Paris'' thing. I can't wait to do those things, but I haven't done them yet. If I ever meet someone, we're going to have a good time, because I'm making a list.

-If ever there was an interview likely to cause spontaneous panty combustion, it's this one from Cosmo Men, November 2003...